ROAD TRIPPPPPPPPP!!!

Well, my bags are packed and I'm ready to go! Tomorrow morning I am leaving for Atlanta to celebrate the New Year and watch the Hokies bring home a big win. I am super excited and can't wait to get on the road and just forget about life for a while!

Last year on New Year's Eve I went to a party with my parents...lame, and then stayed up until 4am waiting for my boyfriend( now ex-boyfriend) to call me and wish me a Happy New Year from Las Vegas. After waiting for hours, I finally had to call him and remind him that I was at home waiting for him to call. Needless to say, this New Year's Eve things will be different. I've got my girl friends, my hokies, and a fun exciting city to explore! I PROMISE to write a blog about EVERYTHING...or almost everything, when I get home!

HAPPY NEW YEAR, MY LOVELY BLOG READERS!!! : )

I feel like sharing a story...

So I'm bored and going through some of my writing from my good old college days. Sigh. I found a piece that I started back in February and never got around to finishing. I would say that it is FICTION, but it is slightly based on true events. For those of you who know me well, you will probably know who/what I am talking about. If not, just take it as fiction and enjoy. : )


Writing Exercise due February 24, 2009

I have a habit of ignoring the bad things and focusing on the good. Case and point, my ex-boyfriend Josh. I ignored his drinking, and the drugs. I excused his worthless behavior and the fact that he couldn’t keep a job. I pardoned him for every missed dinner date, or forgotten anniversary. I gave him an inch and he ran a freaking marathon. But he never forgot to say “I love you” at the end of every phone call. Something about those three little words kept me around for two and half years. Looking back now, I see a lot of bad. But my brain tells my heart to look past that. If I look back, way back to the beginning, there was a love so good, it made Romeo and Juliet look like child’s play.
I remember the first day we met. It was my sixteenth birthday. Instead of having a party, I went to my friend Chelsea’s party. She begged me one day in school not to have a party on the same day as hers because then all of our friends would have to choose between the two of us. Big f-ing deal, right?
When I arrived at Chelsea’s house with my friend Jessica, we could smell the hotdogs grilling in the backyard. Chelsea’s boyfriend had recently started a band and they had agreed to play some of their new songs as a birthday present to her.
“No charge,” he told her one day as we sat at the lunch table together.
I could hear the band tuning up as I made my way around the side of the house. Sophomore year marked the beginning of my “emo” phase, and I had the outfit to prove it. My pink and black old school vans matched perfectly with my jean skirt and studded belt. On top I wore a black t-shirt that said, “I’m with the band” in bold white letters. When we finally reached the backyard, Jessica and I headed up to the deck to find Chelsea. Like always, Chelsea had gone over the top with decorations. There was a huge banner hanging from the roof that read, “Happy Sweet 16 Chelsea!” Streamers and balloons covered every inch of the deck. Christmas lights were draped around the fence (even though it was the middle of the day). Secretly, I wanted to go up to the banner and cross off Chelsea’s name and add my own. We found Chelsea standing by the cake with her boyfriend Andrew hanging all over her.
“Hey girls! Thanks for coming!”
“Yea, totally! I’ll just pretend like it’s my party too right!”
Chelsea didn’t catch the sarcasm in my words but I didn’t really care. I turned to check out the band and that’s when I saw him. He had the most beautiful hair I have ever seen. When the sun hit it just right, individual strands lit up like precious gold. And the texture; it made me want to run my fingers through it and twirl it round and round. I know that sounds really creepy. But he had beaten me to it. He was standing on the deck with his bass strapped around his neck. One hand was in his pocket, and the other one was anxiously twirling his beautiful locks. His eyes darted around the yard nervously. When they finally met my gaze I could see they were blue. Not a pale blue, more like a blue that matches the sky on its brightest day. He was tall, and a little on the skinny side. His Bright Eyes t-shirt was faded and a little on the snug side. I wanted to talk to him but I didn’t know how. The last thing I wanted was to resort to asking Chelsea for help.
As I’m standing there I wonder what his name is. Probably something sexy like Brayden or Chase. In this moment I want to know him. I want to be close enough to smell him, to touch him, to taste his sun kissed skin.

Stories to make you LOL...or atleast I think they should.

Hello again, dear readers. I have two stories that I would like to share from this weekend. I find them funny and amusing so hopefully you will too.

This Saturday I ran my FIRST 5K! I will admit that I was hesitant about the idea at first, but I actually enjoyed it! I ran the race with my mom, who definitely kept me going when I wanted to stop and walk. Nothing worse than getting beat by your 50 year old mother right? So we ran together, most of the time anyway, and froze our butts off! But I had on so many layers that I was actually sweating like a pig. About half way through the race I noticed myself falling behind my mom. I kept thinking, is she speeding up or am I slowing down? Either way, I was STRUGGLING to get to the finish line. At one point I was dry heaving/ choking on my own spit. Attractive, I know. But then, right before the home stretch, I got a huge kick of adrenaline. The crowd was cheering, and the Rocky theme song was playing in the background...or maybe I imagined that. And all of a sudden I took off in a sprint and passed my mom right before the finish line. I even gave her a little wink when I ran by. The look on her face was PRICELESS! She was so mad! And the best part is, there's a picture of us on the website for the race that shows me running past her at the finish line with a big smile on my face. I told her we should order it and frame it. So yes, I did beat my mom, but she wants it to be known that I only beat her by 2 seconds. (And she said that she let me win so that I wouldn't be upset.) Whatever you say, mom.

Saturday night I attended a lovely party at the home of one of my good friends. After a few hours there, we ventured out to the bars in the freezing cold. At the bar I met a guy (shocker), who will remain nameless in case he some how tracks me down and reads my blog. Anyway, so I met this guy and we started talking. And I'll just preface this by saying that I've realized that I am really mean to guys when I first meet them! Case and point: This guy at the bar, I'll call him Josh, was wearing a bright red vest. Like the zip up kind that was popular...um, never. So I started off the conversation with, "Sweet vest." I don't remember his exact response but it was enough to get a conversation going. I proceeded to joke on the vest, unzip the zipper and make him feel like a total dork for wearing it. But he kept talking to me anyway. Then I moved on to his emo, comb-over hair do, or should I say don't. I don't mean comb-over like the guy was going bald, but he combed his hair to the side instead of letting it just hang down. So, naturally I had to ask him why he wore his hair like that. Then I proceeded to brush his hair straight down to see why he said it looked bad unless it was combed to the side. Well, at least he was right about one thing. And let me just say that this guy was NOT ugly. I know I'm ragging on him but he was very good looking minus the vest and comb-over. And don't worry I checked his shoes; he told me they were Armani. I'm not sure if he was lying but I really didn't care too much because they weren't ugly and that's all that matters. Then we started talking about our jobs. He told me he was a Navy diver. And at first this sounded legitimate but then I started to think, aren't divers for the Navy called Navy Seals? But he definitely didn't tell me he was a Navy Seal. So either there are multiple types of divers for the Navy or he made the job up. And I was also confused that his hair was on the longer side for the military, because I thought it had to be cut a certain way. Some how we got on the subject of my broken leg. I actually took my boot off in the bar and showed him the scar AND made him feel it. As I'm sitting here writing this I'm thinking, why in the world did this guy stick around for so long to talk to me? I sound like a total weirdo So it was getting late and my lovely sister was coming to pick me up and drive me home. I told Josh "bye" and walked away to find my friends. Before I left, Josh's wingman came up to me and said, "So did he get your number, are yall gonna hang out?" I told Mister Wingman that Josh did not ask for my number, and then I walked away to leave. Just before I got to the door I felt a tap on my shoulder. Well what do you know, Mr. Clueless wanted to ask me for my number! So I gave it to him (sidenote: I really need to stop giving out my number to random people), and he gave me his. We exchanged a few texts on the drive home, his mainly consisted of "lol" over and over again. Not really sure what was so funny though. I told him to text me tomorrow AKA today and shockingly, he hasn't.I mean I really don't see why he wouldn't, I joked on his outfit, his hair, made him feel the metal in my leg, and questioned his career as a "Navy diver." How dare I! Oh and I almost forgot! He told me his last name was Hefner, "like Hugh Hefner." And much to my disappointment, after some in depth facebook stalking I could not find him. I'm beginning to think that this guy either has multiple personalities, or made up his entire life story. So ladies and gents, the moral of the story is, avoid guys wearing vests in bars, especially if they have a semi comb-over. And if you are that guy in the bar wearing a vest, take it off, burn it, and try a polo button-up on for size.

This is what I think about at night.

Yesterday I emailed a friend of mine and asked her how her job was going as a teacher in Washington, DC. She said it was tough and the kids take up a large amount of her time. She said there have been numerous times that she has had to drive a kid to a homeless shelter or call number after number trying to track down the kid's parents only to find that all the numbers have been disconnected. She said the whole thing has taken a toll on her. I'm sure anyone could understand where she is coming from. Teaching is a hard job, let alone teaching in an inner city school where kids and parents are apathetic towards teachers. I appreciated the honesty in my friend's response, as I am currently trying to figure out what to do next with my life career-wise. I don't know what my next step is. I don't know exactly what I want to do. But after much thought and internal reflection, I do know one thing. I want to help people. I know I've said this before in previous blogs but I just feel like I can't emphasize it enough. I want to make a difference in someone's life. I know it sounds cheesy and corny, but that is truly how I feel. I want to wake up in the morning and know that somewhere out there someone is waiting on me to help them and make a difference in their life. I don't know what exactly this job is, maybe a teacher, maybe a social worker, maybe it's something I haven't even considered yet.

So when I pictured myself in my friend's shoes, driving a young child to a homeless shelter, I thought, maybe if I was his teacher I could help him. I know part of this "helping people" idea is unrealistic. I mean, you can only help people to a certain extent, and that's only if they actually want your help to begin with. But there is no harm in trying. I love children; not enough to want to have any of my own, but nevertheless I still love them. At my job at the YMCA, I get to interact mainly with teens and kids. I love the feeling of knowing that they depend on me for help, even for something as simple as opening their string cheese at lunchtime. I love it when a little girl comes up to me at camp and says, "Are you going to be here tomorrow and the day after that?" It makes me feel like I matter to someone. The fact that this little girl can't wait to see me tomorrow and the day after that brings me a joy that I can't explain. That is the only happiness I need in my life. There is no person, material object, or place in this world that could replace the feeling that I get from helping someone, especially a child. In my opinion, we are put on this Earth to give more than we receive. Giving not only brings happiness to the person receiving it, but to the giver as well. I want to be a giver. I have had so many wonderful people give to me in the past 22 years, and now it is my turn to pay it forward. And I want to be sincere in my giving, not because I feel like I have to, but because I want to. Maybe it's the time of year, or maybe it's something in my teeth whitening gel. Either way I can't stop myself from thinking that I need to give more of myself to others. Now I just need to figure out where to start.

This song is so fitting it gives me goosebumps

"You're Not Sorry" - Taylor Swift

All this time I was wasting,
Hoping you would come around
I've been giving out chances every time
And all you do is let me down
And it's taking me this long
Baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking we'll be fine again,
But not this time around

You don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did - before
You're not sorry, no no oh

Looking so innocent,
I might believe you if I didn't know
Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold
And you got your share of secrets
And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cause it's worked each time before

But you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did - before
You're not sorry, no no, oh

You're not sorry no no oh

You had me crawling for you honey
And it never would've gone away, no
You used to shine so bright
But I watched all of it fade

So you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
There's nothing left to beg for
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did - before
You're not sorry, no no oh

You're not sorry, no no oh

Post-Thanksgiving thoughts

Happy belated Thanksgiving to all of my devoted readers! I am truly thankful for all of you. You give me a reason to write. You make me feel like what I write actually matters. I appreciate all of your thoughts and encouragement about the blog. It really does mean the world to me. Please, please, please, keep reading! And please share my website with your friends! Maybe one day someone will buy my blog and I'll get paid to keep writing...wishful thinking.

Another Thanksgiving has come and gone. In true Thanksgiving fashion, I ate entirely too much, drank entirely too much the night before, and did not exercise at all. Shame on me, I know. But I did have a wonderful Thanksgiving lunch with my family and my aunt, uncle, cousins, grandpa, and grandma. And let's not forget my amazing best friend who came down from Northern Virginia to stay with me and eat Thanksgiving with my family instead of her own. Now that is love!

Today was an absolutely gorgeous day! So, after sleeping in til about noon, I dragged my butt out of bed and went running with my mom. For those of you who don't know, we are running together in a 5k in two weeks! And unless I do some serious training before then, my mom is going to kick my butt! She is so dedicated and passionate about running. I envy her and wish I could find the drive that she has to go running everyday. When we first starting running together this summer, I did not like it at all. I prefer running alone so I can get "in the zone" and reflect on life for an hour or so. But I finally realized that it's not always about what I want, so I let my mom start running with me. Today's run was a ROUGH one for me. I felt like I was carrying everything I've eaten from Thursday until today in my stomach. I am not kidding when I say I felt like I was nine months pregnant with food. I couldn't find a good pace, I felt like my feet were stuck in cement, and my mom was leaving me in the dust, literally. So when I finally realized I couldn't catch up with her, I started to get angry. Angry with myself for not pushing as hard as I should, and angry that my 49 year old mother was in better shape than I was. But just when I was about to let the whole situation get the best of me, a young girl ran past me. She doesn't know me but I know her. I know her family. I know that she lost her mother this fall, and won't ever get her back. After I passed this girl I thought to myself, "my mom may be kicking my butt on this run, but at least I've got a mom out here to run with." And I ran, slowly, all the way home; following my mom and feeling truly blessed.

If they say Why? Why? Tell them that is human nature...

Yep, that's right. Give credit to MJ for the blog title. Yesterday while I was getting my nails done the new Michael Jackson movie "This is It" was playing. Part of me wanted to sing along as the little Vietnamese man polished my toes. Another part of me wondered how it was possible for the nail salon to have this video when it just came out to theaters like a two weeks ago. Either way, I enjoyed watching it.

So what exactly was MJ referring to in his song? Well here is my interpretation. Everyone has heard the age old question, "Why do we always want what we can't have?" But what I want to know is, has there ever been a good answer to that question? Why do I want a job I'm not qualified for, the money I don't need, the boy I can't have, and the list goes on and on.

I think it's natural to chase something that we know is not realistically obtainable. The chase gives us a rush, a feeling of excitement and adventure as we plunge into the unknown. But since we know we can't have it, why do we try over and over again to get it? Maybe it's for the thrill, maybe it's because we're bored and waiting for something better to come along, or maybe it's because we know that since we can't have it, we can never be disappointed by it. I would say for me personally, the third choice is my best answer. If all we have are unrealistic hopes and expectations of what something COULD be, then we can't get our feelings hurt. So we keep trying and trying and trying, walking on egg shells and holding our breath hoping that maybe someday those expectations will become reality. But there's always that voice in the back of our head telling us to forget about it, move on, find something else to chase after. So why don't we listen? Why are we so hard headed and stubborn that we try to fight fate and take matters into our own hands? If we keep getting told "NO" over and over again it seems that the logical thing would be to call it a day and start over with a new idea. Let's be serious, anything other than a "yes" is really a no. No matter how you twist it, sugar coat it, you can't change it.

I know it's not easy to quit something, or someone for that matter. But it certain situations it needs to be done. My own personal experiences show that I'm not the best at quitting either. But just because it's hard doesn't mean we shouldn't do it. I think the Fray said it best with, "Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same."

I'm not saying stop chasing dreams, I'm saying wake up and smell reality. The world we live in is cold, ugly and unforgiving at times. A tough skin is required, as well as the ability to quickly bounce back. I'm still working on that. But here's to trying.

I May Hate Myself in the Morning...

Last night I had dinner with a good friend who I hadn't seen in a while. We swapped stories and got caught up on what the other one was doing. Somewhere in the conversation, she asked me if I had heard this song. I told her I hadn't. And to my surprise she actually sang it at the table for me! It was amusing to say the least. I think everyone can relate to these lyrics because we've all been there at some point or another. Enjoy.


I May Hate Myself in the Morning- Lee Ann Womack

Ain't it just like one of us
To pick up the phone and call after a couple drinks
Say how ya been I've been wondering if maybe you've been thinking 'bout me
And somewhere in the conversation
An ole familiar invitation always arrives
I may hate myself in the morning
But I'm gonna love you tonight

Everyone's known someone they just can't help but want
Even though we just can't make it work out
Well the want to lingers on
So once again we wind up in each other's arms pretending that it's right
I may hate myself in the morning
But I'm gonna love you tonight

I know it's wrong
But it ain't easy moving on
So why can't two friends
Remember the good times once again

Tomorrow when I wake up I'll be feeling a little guilty, a little sad
Thinking how it used to be before everything went bad
I guess that's what is
In lonely late night calls like this that we try to find
I may hate myself in the morning but I'm gonna love you tonight

I may hate myself in the morning but I'm gonna love you tonight

I'm a winner...no really I actually won something

Alright, you know its bad when dedicated readers are writing on your facebook wall telling you to update your blog. I feel so important guys!! Thank you! And just so you know, I already had this blog planned out I just hadn't had the time to write it. So here it goes.


For most of my life, I have not been a winner. When I say winner I mean that I usually don't win things, prizes if you will. I never win the little stuffed animal in the glass case at the arcade, I never win raffles at fund raising events and I never win contests that I enter online (not like I really wanted to go to the New Moon premier in New York City anyway...). But lately I've notice that my luck has changed. Yes, that's right. I am now a WINNER! Even if you don't think so my mommy tells me I am. So there. I have three stories to share to prove how much of a winner I am.

The first story happened about two months ago. I was working at a senior citizens health fair event as part of my internship. The event was basically a career fair for old people except instead of jobs being offered, there was life insurance, prescription benefits, and free note pads. Needless to say I was entertained the whole day. Old people love free stuff! Heck, I love free stuff. But old people REALLY love free stuff. Case and point: When you entered the event you got a raffle ticket. Various items were auctioned off from 8am until the end of the event at 2pm. Now just to be clear, none of these gifts were of any real value to me or most other normal people. But regardless, I held my raffle ticket in my hand all day and kept my fingers crossed for a big win. At about 1:55 the auction man held up a bright blue table lamp and said that it was the last item for the day. At this point I was exhausted from standing for 6 hours and being extremely patient with people who could barely hear me. So, when the auction man read off my ticket number, I froze and did a double take at my ticket. Then he read the number again. I was in the very back of the room, standing behind hundreds of old people eagerly waiting to win this lamp, and I held up my hand. "It's me, I won." At this point I was almost embarrassed to claim the prize because every eye was glaring at me with utter disgust. I know what they were thinking. Look at this stupid young girl. What the heck does she need this lamp for? And they were right. I didn't need the lamp. But I NEVER win things. And I was not about to pass up my one chance of feeling like a winner. So I walked up, grabbed my lamp, and quickly carried it out to my car before the old people had the chance to form a mob and take it from me. Lesson of the day, just say no to the raffle ticket at the senior citizen health care event.

My second story comes from this past weekend at a social gathering that I went to with my parents. The party was amazing! There was food, tasty beverages, live music, good looking men, pretty much everything I could ask for in a great party. The purpose of the party was to raise money. So, there were two auctions, one live and one silent. As my parents and I strolled around the room with the silent auction items, I thought to myself, I have a little bit of money and I want to bid on something. Perhaps it was the alcohol talking. Whatever it was, I landed my eye on a teeth whitening treatment and never let go. I stood next to the bid list and watched as people put their names down. With only a minute to go before the bidding ended I wrote my name down, feeling like a sneaky winner, but a winner to say the least. Needless to say I was overly ecstatic when they announced that I won. Everyone that I talked to the rest of the night was greeting with, "I'M GETTING MY TEETH WHITENED!!!!!" Their response was usually, "Oh, congratulations." Then I started thinking that people might think I have really yellow teeth if I keep telling them how excited I am. So I tried to stop, but that didn't really work out too well. On Monday I got an official paper saying that I had won a teeth whitening treatment. HOWEVER, what they failed to mention at the silent auction was that the teeth whitening treatment only includes fitted trays and gel. Still a $550 value that I got for less than half of that. Maybe that's why they call it a silent auction? Moral of the story, read the fine print. But hey, I'M GETTING MY TEETH WHITENED!!!

My third and final story took place two days ago as I was driving home from work. Everyday on my drive home I listen to Hot 100.5 and listen for chances to win concert tickets. This obsession with winning stuff on the radio actually just started recently and has gotten somewhat out of hand. It's like I can't stop myself from calling. I literally dial 50 times trying to get through to win these tickets and back stage passes. Maybe that was normal when I was like 15 but now it just kinda makes me think I'm crazy. This is what my life has come to. Calling radio stations and hoping for some air time. SO, two days ago I finally got my big break! For those of you who don't know, I'm pretty much unstoppable when it comes to celebrity trivia and gossip. I probably read two or three magazines a week, not to mention people.com, and perezhilton.com. So, when yesterdays question asked about a certain celebrity's tattoo, I COULDN'T HELP BUT CALL IN WITH THE RIGHT ANSWER! What was the prize you ask? Oh, just a 50 dollar gift certificate to a tatoo parlor! Obviously I wasn't really paying attention to the prize at the time. So I called in, and after only 2 tries and got through! I gave my answer (Rhianna) and they told me I won! I was excited/embarrassed/happy/confused all at the same time. So the radio DJ asks me, "Do you have any tattoos?" And I answer, "Yes I have one." And he says, "Well would you like to get another?" And I answer, "Sure." Then I started thinking about how many people out there with full sleeves and face tattoos probably wanted to kick my butt for taking that "Free ink" away from them. So, now all I have to do is drive to the radio station and claim my prize. Let's hope I can bring myself to do it. And I guess I'll just have to go get a tattoo now...wouldn't want to let that money go to waste! Some old bald guy would be really upset. Moral of the story, listen to the prize before you call in.

True Life: I'm a ring checker

As many of you know, I am single. In fact, I think single might even be an understatement of what I am. Okay, maybe its not that bad. Being single does have it's advantages. But that's a whole other blog that I don't feel like getting into right now.

It has come to my attention that I have officially become a ring checker. For those of you who don't know, a ring checker is a person who looks at someone of the opposite sex, and upon first meeting them, checks to see if they are wearing a wedding ring. Why do I do this? The answer is simple. A ton of people are getting married these days. And it seems as though I have now reached that age where getting engaged or married is common and thus people my age are wearing rings. Honestly why you would want to be married at the age of 22 is still a mystery to me, but that is beside the point.

My ring checking tendencies started this summer and have become an almost daily occurence. For instance, last night I was at an event for our new governor. Needless to say, there were tons of people at this event. So, I reverted back to my old college ways and made "a lap" around the room to scope out some men. No I didn't walk around by myself like a creeper, thanks. So as I made my way around, I found myself looking at guys and doing a one over from head, to left hand, to shoes. As I stated in a previous blog I am a shoe checker. Bad shoes equals bad guy. So now, on top of being a shoe checker, I'm a ring checker. But here's where the problem comes in. I think men are catching on to us ring checkers. It seemed like every guy I looked at last night had his left hand hidden in his pocket. And let's be honest, I've never been very discrete when I'm looking for something about someone. I may have imagined this but I swear I actually saw a guy put his left hand behind his back when he saw me looking. No joke.

Now that I have admitted to being a ring checker, I must say I feel better. I don't see anything wrong with checking rings. Perhaps I could do it a little less obviously, but I'm working on that. But my question now is, why are all the good looking, nice guys wearing rings? I mean, I'm happy that you found "the one" and all but wear are all your single friends? The search continues on for the non-ring wearing, nice shoe wearing, guy.

Happy Halloween Kids!

I know I'm a little late in wishing everyone a Happy Halloween but its the thought that counts right? Needless to say my Halloween weekend entertaining and eventful. I managed to come home with my wallet, purse, cell phone, and most of my dignity still in tact.

This past Friday I gave in to peer pressure and bought a Halloween costume. I told myself I was not dressing up this year. I said that I was too old and didn't want to look silly. Well, apparently there is no official age were it becomes inappropriate to wear a costume. As I stood in line at the costume store for about 30 minutes, I noticed something interesting. A majority of the people in the store were adults, I'd say in their 30s or 40s. And much to my surprise, these people were not buying costumes for their kids, they were buying them for themselves. Grown women, moms, were trying on sexy cop costumes right before my very eyes. I was shocked, and kind of grossed out. Some of these people did not need to be wearing a sexy cop costume, if you know what I mean. So I thought to myself, am I going to be dressing up as a sexy cop when I'm a mom? Gosh I hope not. I didn't even want to dress up this year at 22 years old. When did Halloween become such a big event? I had my 4 years of fun/semi revealing costumes in college. And I thought the dressing up ended with that. But apparently I still have years to go. I'm not sure how I feel about that. And lets not forget to mention that my costume cost me 50 bucks! 50 bucks for an outfit that I'm going to wear one time. Who knows if it will still fit next year...I'm gonna go ahead and said it probably won't. So I guess I should start thinking of costume ideas for next year so I don't end up back in the Halloween store on the day before Halloween battling it out with moms for the last sexy cop costume.

This blog is about L-O-V-E

In most of my blogs I usually say something like, "If you have ideas for a blog let me know and I will write about it." Well, I FINALLY got someone to give me a topic! This dedicated reader, told me last night that he wanted to know why girls think they have to say, "I love you", so early on in the relationship and rush into being so serious. And along with this he also wondered why girls think every relationship has to be a fairy tale, instead of just reality. So, I will now attempt to answer his questions with a fun, wity blog. Here goes nothing.

I will begin with a story. A long, long time ago, I fell in love with a boy who changed my whole world. I was young, probably 16 at the time, and when I fell in love I fell hard. I wrote love notes, poems, songs, drew hearts on my notebook in class, counted down the hours until I could see him again. Try to hold back the vomit, okay? When I said, "I love you" to him we had been dating for about three months. It was Valentine's Day, and we had just finished a couple's photo shoot at Sears and dinner at Olive Garden. I don't think it gets any cheesier than that. So as we were about to end the night, due to my super early curfew, he told me that he loved me. That's right, he said it first. But I was going to say it anyway if he didn't for some reason. And that was it. We were in love and wanted the whole world to know. It felt like everyday I loved him more, and there was no end in sight. We told eachother that we would spend "forever" together, get married and have a family. And we meant it. I can honestly say that we truly, deeply loved eachother. And when it ended it was sad, but people change and you have to let go sometimes. But I don't regret any of it. It was the best relationship I've ever had...and pretty much the only one, minus a few other short lived romances.

So what is the point of this story? The point is, everyone starts out with the "fairy tale romance" in their heads. We all want it. We read about it, watch movies about it, Cosmo tells us about it, our friends swear that their boyfriends treat them like princesses, it's EVERYWHERE. And when we fall in love for the first time, we actually start believing that fairy tales exist. I know I did for a while. But then the bubble burts, and reality sets in. We realize that being in love is not all its cracked up to be. It's frustrating, demanding, overwhelming at times. Not easy and argument free like the movies suggest. And we become hardened, maybe even a little jaded by love and what it has done to us in the past. But I think this needs to happen in order for us to see the truth about relationships. And that truth is, falling in love is the easy part. It's all the other stuff that takes work. The trusting, the committing, the putting in effort to make the other person happy. Those are the little things that mean the most and we all STRUGGLE with those.

So when a girl says, "I love you" super early in the relationship, either she hasn't had her fairy tale bubble burst yet, or she truly does love you. And while it's great that she loves you, it doesn't mean that things will last forever. That old saying "love conquers all" is such crap. Sometimes it just takes us a little while to see through the crap and figure out what we really want. And at the end of my day, all I really want is to be happy. Everything else will work itself out in time. Does that answer your question?

This is what happens when boredom strikes...

Where do you mainly shop for clothes/jewelry?
Express, New York and Co, AE

What's the middle name of the last person to text you?
JANE! Love you AJS

How many eggs do you normally eat?
usually I eat egg whites because they are healthier..

What's something you will never run out of in your fridge?
water, propel, cheese...we have way too much cheese.

What kind of perfume do you use?
Burberry Summer or Dolce and Gabbana Light Blue

What time do you leave your house in the morning for school?
Sadly I am not in school any more. I usually leave for work around 8:30.

Do you remember your second grade teacher's name?
Mrs. Wiggins and Mrs. Whitlock

Any celebrity crushes?
I would marry Channing Tatum this second if he asked.

How many days until Halloween?
Who knows...I'm too old to dress up anymore. : (

Do you believe in 2012?
I'm not sure, but it is scary to think about.

What's your best memory of high school?
Probably graduating and getting the heck out of there.

Your worst?
The day my aunt died my sophmore year

What is your favorite tv show?
I have a few: One Tree Hill, Greys, Desperate Housewives, Private Practice

Have you ever lied to your parents?
Of course

Who has ever given you the best advice?
my mom, or AJS.

Name 3 places you want to go before you die:
Bahamas, Hawaii, Cabo

Think back to your last relationship. Was it worth it?
eh, thats debateable.

Will you be in a relationship next month?
doubtful

How's your ex doing? Do you care?
he's good as far as I know.

Did you kiss anyone in August?'
I don't kiss and tell

Is it okay to like someone else when you have a boyfriend/ girlfriend?
sure...why not

Why did your last relationship end?
didnt really see a future for us together.

Is the last person you kissed older than you?
yes

What do you dislike currently?
waking up early

Can you handle the truth?
I would take the truth over a lie any day of the week.

Do you still talk to the person you had your first kiss with?
no. but he was a nice guy!

Reason behind the last time you laughed really hard?
I laugh really hard everytime I get a hilarious text from a certain someone...its pretty much a constant laughter.

Do you believe that there's good in everybody?
honestly, I'm not sure

What are your plans for your next birthday?
rent a limo, cruise around town with my bffs and live it up!

Do you ignore people when you're mad/upset with them?
sometimes. but i'm usually the person who tries to work it out.

What is something you wish you had more of?
more time in the day...where does it go?

Would you ever consider getting breast implants?
maybe after i have kids and the girls arent looking as good.

What color are your nails painted right now?
clear..got a manicure yesterday and it was amazing.

Do you ever think you're anorexic/bulimic?
haha...that's a joke. obese, maybe.

How old will you be in December 2010?
23...how did i get so old?

Are you comfortable to go out in public with no makeup?
4 years in college will make you comfortable.

Can a boy and girl be friends without having feelings for each other?
i think there are always feelings...even if you don't admit it.

Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend? And still been best friends after?
The thing about a best friend is that no matter what you fight about, you'll always be best friends.

When was the last time you cried?
Saturday night

Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2010?
Most likely not, but getting a job would be a great change.

What are you currently waiting for?
my lunch break...im starving.

Do you think more about the past, present, or future?
I am constantly thinking about the future, but I wish I could just focus on the present.

Who were the last people you saw besides from family?
people at a meeting i went to last night

Is this year the best year of your life?
I can't say its been the worst...

Is there someone you wouldn't mind kissing right now?
my puppy dogs!

What's on your wrists right now?
a david yurman bracelet.

Did you ever want to be a doctor?
I don't think I could be in school that long. But I would love to marry a doctor.

Are you dressing up for Halloween this year?
I doubt that.

What are you wearing right now? In detail?
Brown shoes, brown pants, multi-colored shirt, brown earrings...alot of brown.

What is your current mood?
content...but always wanting more.

How much money do you have on you?
some change at the bottom of my purse.

Do you remember who you liked in grade seven?
yes I do...and I am still friends with him today.

Do you have friends you can tell stuff to and you're sure they won't tell?
only a select few.

How do you feel about Dr Pepper?
way too much sugar and not worth the calories.

Are there things that can't be joked about with you?
ehh I'm a pretty open person...

What do you always take with you?
phone, purse, wallet, keys, lip gloss, hand sanitizer

Do you have a box where you keep all your important things?
I have a memory box with all of my love notes from high school...thats about it.

How many times have you dyed your hair?
none...I'm all natural baby.

Are you afraid of shots ?
not really.

Has anyone called you perfect before?
I've been told I have perfect hair...but I'm far from perfect.

Do your best friends’ parents tend to like you?
I'm sure they do for putting up with their crazy daughter...

Are any of your friends taller than you?
maybe a few guys but none of my girlfriends

Could you name all 50 states and point to them on a map?
I have tried and I failed...and that is embarrassing.

Are you someone's best friend?
yes i am.

Give me a random lyric from the song you're listening to:
Suprisingly I'm not listening to anything

Has a song ever made you cry?
Yep, many times. I am so emo.

Has a book ever made you cry?
I don't think so.

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you?
yep

Do you like to wear dresses?
yes...I feel very girly when I do.

Would you ever get a tattoo? What of?
I already have one...I might get another but it would have to be something I really want.

Quotes of the day

Stole this from someone's facebook page...I thought they were really good.


"As you grow up, you'll learn that the one person that wasn't supposed to let you down probably will. You'll have your heart broken, but you'll break other's hearts too, so remember what it felt like when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend and maybe even fall in love with them. You'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh till you cry, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no timeouts, no second chances. You just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you. Tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain. Hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile til your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back."

"To me, fearless is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. Fearless is falling madly in love again, even though you’ve been hurt before. Fearless is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again… even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. It’s fearless to have faith that someday things will change. Fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, I think it’s fearless to stop believing them. It’s fearless to say “you’re not sorry”, and walk away. I think loving someone despite what people think is fearless. I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. Letting go is fearless. Then, moving on and being alright…That’s fearless too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after. Because love is fearless."

A scene from my dreams- A Fiction Piece

So, I haven't written a fiction piece in a while, and today I was feeling inspired by the rain. Enjoy.

I’m sitting in traffic, counting the drops of rain as they bead down on my windshield. And all of a sudden I’m not in the car anymore. All of a sudden I’m taken to a memory, a vision, a scene from my dreams starring me and you. We’re at dinner, maybe outside my front door, or perhaps wrapped up in a blanket watching the waves crash on the shore. I look at you, my eyes full of emotions and words unspoken, and you smile. You smile that smile that melts me, that makes me forget why I was ever mad at you a day in my life, makes me want to stay in this moment with you forever and just breathe it all in. But behind that smile is a head full of thoughts that I can’t see into, can’t read into, can’t comprehend what you want me to. But I try, and I’ve been trying for weeks, months, years, to read between the lines and find you, the real you. Why won’t you let me find you? Let me see you exposed and broken down. Let me hear the words roll off your tongue, those words that I’ve been waiting to hear for so long.

As I sit beside you with anxious eyes and a heart that’s been broken a thousand times, I laugh. I laugh so that I won’t cry. I laugh because I’m nervous and uncertain about what I’m even doing here in the first place. Preparing to spill my heart on the table in front you, I’ve been choking on these words for so long I’m not even sure if they will come out now. With hands shaking I turn my body to face you, and I take in one last deep breath. As I breathe it out, “I love you”, slips from my mouth like a whisper, and I wonder if you heard me. I don’t think I have to strength to say it again. Because when I’m with you, my strength is gone. I’m powerless in a war that’s raging right in front of me. I’m sick with stomach that’s tied up in knots. And you are my medicine, my drug. You make me better. You make me feel like a toy with new batteries inside, I’ve never felt so alive. I want to hug you, kiss you, breathe you in so that I never forget you. And while my mind is racing you take my hand. I’m afraid to look up and hear what you eyes have to say. You come closer and I can feel your warm breath in my ear. And when you let go all I hear is air; and the life being sucked out of me. Another night with words left unsaid. I’m a fool for expecting anything more.

I’m sitting in traffic, counting the drops of rain as they bead down on my windshield. And you’re not here anymore.

Speak your mind and hold your tongue

Today I started thinking about how I'm a walking campaign ad for telling the truth and being brutally honest. As much as I love this quality about myself, I'm beginning to notice a change in my usual, honest to a fault, personality. Lately I've noticed I am more patient, kind, and forgiving of people. I never imagined I would be expressing all of those emotions, let alone all of them at the same time. The main change I've noticed is that, in certain situations and with certain people, I CANNOT BE MEAN! Also, with these situations and these people I CANNOT SAY EXACTLY WHAT I'M THINKING... and it's killing me If you know me well, you know that I can be a total bitch when I don't agree with someone, feel the need to shut someone down, or quite frankly just don't like someone. Okay, I know that sounds mean, but at least I can admit it right? But the point is, I used to not take crap from anyone! I used to stand up for myself, say what was on my mind, and not think twice about what anyone else thought. And now, its like I just sit there, smile, and pretend to agree with people because it's not worth it to start an argument. I know that this is partly a good thing. Nobody likes a know-it-all who has an opinion on every little thing. And I'm glad that I've learned to be more reserved when the situation calls for it. But the thing is, its almost to a point where I'm afraid to say what I'm thinking. I'm afraid of the response I'll get, I'm afraid of the rejection, the letdown, the disappointment, the look that says oh my god I can't believe she just said that . Since when am I the person who cares what people think? I don't know but I don't like it.

I'm blogging because my mommy said so.

This morning my mom walks in the living room and casually says to me, "You haven't blogged in a while. Like, not since October 1st." This is a perfect example of why I feel guilty about not writing. I've been thinking I need to write something for weeks but I've just been lazy. Thanks for the guilt trip mommy, I'm writing now so you don't ground me for the week. Love you mom!

The past two weekends have been what I like to call, "homecoming adventures". The weekend before last I attended my high school homecoming parade and football game. The events were eye-opening to say the least. I realized that next year will be my FIVE YEAR high school reunion. Talk about feeling old. I also realized that high school football games are alot more fun when you are actually in high school. I remember those days sitting in the "cool kids" section of the bleachers, talking about who liked who, where the party was after the game, if we could sneak any booze from our parents (usually not.) I guess in some ways things haven't changed. I still enjoy gossiping about who likes who...more like who is engaged to who nowadays. Now instead of searching for parties, everyday is a party...in the U.S.A. Thanks Miley! As for the booze situation, I only steal from my dad now when I'm running low on funds or don't feel like going to the store.

This weekend I made the 5 hour drive to Blacksburg for homecoming weekend. I HATED that drive all four years of college and hated it just as much this weekend. But of course that didn't stop me. I have to say that this weekend was one of the best I've had in a long time. Friday night was a fantastic reunion of 3/4 of the fantastic 4. And I'm proud to say we still pretended like we were in college and partied hard...maybe a little too hard. However, I am also proud to say that I woke up and made it in time for the noon game on saturday. How could I not when I had amazing, front row tickets! Insert jealous comments here. The game was awesome! We destroyed BC and I stayed the entire time. After the game I ran into some family friends from home and joined them at their tailgate spot for a few hours. The afternoon was full of great people, great conversation, and great food and drink. I could not have asked for a better day. Well, maybe I would have asked for a little bit more energy on Saturday night. But hey, I am old and graduated so I'm proud for making it as long as I did.

A weird thing happened on Sunday morning when I woke up. I thought to myself, I love Blacksburg, but I'm ready to get back home. A feeling of mixed emotions accompanied me the entire weekend. Blacksburg has been my home for the past four years. I made a life in Blacksburg. I met some of the most important people in my life there, and a part of me that wishes I could stay there forever. But there is also a part of me who is ready to grow up and move on. Not so much ready to be living at home again, but ready to see what the future holds.

Virginia Tech was a great chapter in my life. But its time to start writing the next one. And the good news with this chapter is, the possibilities are endless.

Song of the Day

Need You Now- Lady Antebellum


Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reaching for the phone cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever crossed your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now


Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever crossed your mind
To me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you not
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all

It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

I just need you now

Excuse me waiter, why do I have so many forks?

Yesterday I had the honor and privilege of attending a luncheon with people who are way more important than I am. ( A first, I know). This luncheon was held at a very nice restaurant in the Chesapeake area. Needless to say I had never been to this restaurant before because I do not have a loving, generous boyfriend to pay for me. (Currently accepting applications!). So when I arrived at the restaurant I was nervous/excited/overwhelmed/freaking out on the inside. But I smiled and introduced myself to everyone and pretended like I was cool as a cucumber. Let me just say this before I go any further, when I think of a luncheon, I think of appetizers, or small sandwiches, or chicken fingers. You get the point. Well, when I sat down at the table for my luncheon yesterday, I was shocked to find a menu already typed up, with 3 courses picked out. My first thought upon reading the menu was, well maybe I don't want a small caesar salad, NY strip with garlic mashed potatoes and fresh green beans, and a slice of cheesecake. But who am I kidding? I'll eat pretty much anything that is put in front of me. As the luncheon went on, my thought process continued on as follows, oh god please don't let me spill anything, I guess picking up a crouton with my fingers is inappropriate in this setting, why does it sound like I'm chewing so loud, why is everyone eating so slow, why are there so many forks, why does the waitress replace my fork every time she takes my plate, I don't know how to cut steak without looking like a savage beast, man this cheesecake is amazing, wow is the luncheon already over?
So let's go back to the highlight of the meal, the steak with mashed potatoes and green beans. I kid you not when I say that I did not cut my own steak until I left for college. And then I just never ordered steak so that I didn't have to learn. As a child my mom cut my steak because she didn't want me to hurt myself with a knife. Well, I guess I just kept asking her to cut it even when I was old enough to handle a knife. So, needless to say I did panic a little when the waitress put the steak in front of me. Maybe I should have turned to the very important person next to me and asked him to cut it since my mommy was at work. SIKE! So, I looked around for a few minutes and watched everyone else cut their steak like normal human beings. I tried my best to imitate them and managed to do a pretty good job. So, minus the slight panic attack, my first 3 course luncheon was a great success. All I have to say is, when I'm a successful and important career woman, my luncheons will consist of finger foods and ice cream, lots of ice cream.

Today was a great day

Today is Thursday. Also known as the day before the weekend starts, and the night of the season premiere for Greys! Today was a great day. And come to think of it, most of my days lately have been great days. I enjoy waking up every morning and going to do something that I really like. It makes the time fly by and I feel like I am making a difference. I've only been doing my internships for a few weeks but I have already met so many wonderful people, been to some pretty cool events, and made some friends along the way. I can only hope that I will continue to enjoy what I'm doing for a long time and one day make a career out of it. Even if I have to remind myself everyday, I will never take for granted the wonderful opportunities that I have in front of me.

On another note, I have been thinking quiet a bit about this whole "keeping in touch with people" thing. Let me just say that for starters, it really sucks. For a society that is so obsessed with staying "connected" we really have a bad habit of letting ourselves get out of touch with friends and family. I know that I am just as guilty of this as anyone else. We call people when we need something, when its convenient, when we know it won't result in a 30 minute conversation. And while all of that is fine and true, its kind of sad to say. My family and friends are what matters the most to me. And I know that I don't appreciate them as much as I should. I know I don't call them enough, or tell them how much they mean to me enough. So this is for anyone out there who thinks about calling someone and then says, "Oh, I'll do it tomorrow." Do it today. Because let's face it, tomorrow is not guaranteed. And if someone matters enough to you, a 5 minute phone call to tell them that shouldn't be too much to ask.

Run Forest, Run!

Back in February a few of you lucky readers got to witness first hand, the long and painful road to recovery after I completely destroyed my left leg. After surgery, a hard cast, a walking boot, and 2 months of physical therapy, I am happy to say that I am feeling absolutely wonderful again! Actually, I feel better now than I did before I broke my leg. Now, this is not to say that there weren't days back in February and March where I wanted to stop in the crosswalk at school and let oncoming traffic finish me off. Believe me, I have never had so much time to sit and think as I did those couple of months when I barely left my room. So what's the point? The point is, one day I woke up and decided to stop feeling sorry for myself. I stopped complaining (for the most part) about how terrible things were and started thinking about how much worse things could be. I thought to myself, at least I have a leg, at least I have the ability to walk again, at least I have parents who can afford for me to take every available step to recover. I remember how upset I was on graduation day that my ankle was still SO swollen. I had to wear my brace when I walked across the stage to get my diploma. Then, I had to go home and put on tennis shoes just so I could make it to the graduation party. I was a mean person! I was bitter and unhappy and let everyone around me know it. And not once did I stop and think, well at least I am able to graduate!

But that was then and this is now. When I came home after graduation I went to see the doctor so that he could follow up on the status of my ankle. He told me that I couldn't run for another two months. Upon hearing this, I freaked out! I was tired of sitting around doing nothing and waiting for time to pass. I hadn't exercised in months and it showed, believe me. I had enjoyed too many late night trips to
Coldstone courtesy of my super patient boyfriend at the time and best friend. So, despite what the doctor said I started running. I said, screw it, now is just as good a time as any to see what this ankle is made of (mainly metal plates and screws, in case you were wondering). And I ran, and ran, and ran, and ran some more. And I'm still running, and it still hurts, and its still swollen, and yes, there are days when I still complain, but I know that I'm lucky and blessed to have the ability to run, and run fast and I will never take it for granted. Which leads me to a story. Not surprised are you?

Yesterday, for the first time, I gave in to my mom's request for us to go running together. I have been saying "no" to her FOREVER, and I finally said what the heck. Running with her made me realize how anal I am when I run. I have to have my shoes tied just right, a certain kind of socks, my ipod has to be adjusted properly on my arm, and I have to listen to a certain song before I start my run. Weird, I know. So needless to say the run with my mom was less than perfect. Turns out my pace is much faster than her and I don't exactly run in a straight line. I've noticed that when I run I look like I'm having a seizure/trying to out run a swarm of bees. I run in a zigzag pattern, on really good songs I sing out loud, sometimes I even raise my hands in the air and dance to the songs. To anyone driving by on the semi-busy road that I run on, it probably looks like I'm not all there mentally. But you know, I just really don't care. Whatever it takes to get me through those four miles. And believe me, sometimes it seems like I'm going to pass out mid run, but I always manage to make it back. It almost feels like I have to prove to myself that I still have it, that I'm still motivated and driven to make myself better. All I can say is, it feels good to be back.

What I'm listening to

Last night on America's Got Talent Leona Lewis sang "Happy". I LOVE Leona Lewis but I had never heard this song before. So I looked up the lyrics and they completely fit my life right now! If you know me, you know that I love songs that explain my life better than I can explain it myself. So, if you get a chance, download the song and listen to it. It is definitely one of those "belt it out in the car" type songs. Sorry if you catch me on the interstate holding up traffic and singing at the top of my lungs.


"Happy" Leona Lewis

someone once told me
that you have to choose
what you win or lose
you cant have everything
dont you take chances
you might feel the pain
dont you love in vain
cause love wont set you free
i could stand by the side
and watch this life pass me by
so unhappy but safe as could be

so what if it hurts me
so what if i break down
so what if this world just throws me off the edge
my feet run out of ground
i gotta find my place
i wanna hear my sound
dont care about other pain infront of me
cause im just tryna be happy, yea
just wanna be happy, yea

holding on tightly
just cant let it go
just tryna play my roll
slowly diasappear, oooh
well all these tears
they feel like theyre the same
just different faces, different names
get me outta here
well i can stand by the side
and watch this life pass me by
pass me by


so what if it hurts me
so what if i break down
so what if this world just throws me off the edge
my feet run out of ground
i gotta find my place
i wanna hear my sound
dont care about other pain infront of me
cause im just tryna be happy
just wanna be happy
oooh

so any turns that i cant see
ill count a stranger on this road
but don’t say victim
dont say anythng


so what if it hurts me
so what if i break down
so what if this world just throws me off the edge
my feet run out of ground
i gotta find my place
i wanna hear my sound
dont care about all the pain infront of me
cause im just tryna be happy
just wanna be happy

This one's for you

It's been almost a week since I last posted and I'm feeling guilty as usual. Knowing there are people out there who read my posts, and wait patiently for me to update is constantly on my mind and I feel pressure to make each new post better than the last. So this is for you, the dedicated readers, friends, family members, who believe in me and for some reason, keep reading this.

This past week has been good, eventful and overwhelming at times, but good. I started my internship on Tuesday and I must say that I absolutely love it! It's kinda funny because I didn't expect myself to like it as much as I do. I loved my last job at the YMCA, and I figured nothing could top it. But the internship is growing on me more and more every day. I mean, I went to school for 4 years to study politics and how the government works, and now I actually have a job where I get to use those things that I learned. It makes me feel smart, important, like I'm making a difference. When people call and I get to help them figure something out I feel a great sense of accomplishment and success. I want to know more, learn more, read more, so that I always have the answers to peoples' questions. I like the internship because it pushes me to gain more knowledge. It pushes me to keep up to date on the issues and form an opinion. The challenge is, holding my tongue when my opinion is different from someone I am talking to. But that is all part of the game. Hearing both sides and learning from one another. I almost feel like I am back at school because I have literally learned something new every day that I have been at my internship.

On Thursday I traveled to Richmond to attend a funeral for someone in my family. This is the second funeral that I have gone to this year, and honestly it is 2 too many. No one likes funerals. They remind us that death is real and there is nothing that we can do to stop it. It is a scary feeling, knowing that our time here is not infinite and we don't have any say in it. But the one good thing that comes from funerals is the reminder that we get to choose what we do with our time here on this Earth. We get to choose whether or not we wake up in a good mood or a bad one. And for me personally, I know that I've had alot more good days than bad days lately. Life is not defined by the situations that we face. It is defined by our response to those situations. Its sad that is takes having someone that we love die to get us motivated to live a life that is worthwhile. So for any one reading this, I encourage you to wake up tomorrow and decide that you are going to have a good day. Decide that you are going to help someone on the metro. Decide that you are going to say hello to a stranger on the elevator at work. Whatever you decide, just make sure you are living a life that means something. Because there are too many people who never got the chance.

Weekend Facts and Observations

Labor Day weekend has come and gone but it was a memorable one to say the least. Learned some funny lessons this weekend, nothing too major, but I'm in the mood to share.

1.) I am quiet possibly the worst football tailgater EVER. Seriously, I do not enjoy tailgating like other people do! Even when I was in college, I rarely got up early enough to drink a few before the game. Weird, right? Night time games were the rare exception but that's because I could start tailgating around 5pm or so. The issue of tailgating was brought to light this weekend when my dad and I went to the first ever ODU football game. I have to admit the game was pretty exciting. We got there around 2:30...the game started at 6. We did have an awesome parking spot though. So, we get there, park, set up our food and drinks and pull out some chairs. For those of you who know me, you know that I am a whiner. I'm pretty sure that my whining lasted almost the entire time. It was hot, there was no shade, dad forgot the cornhole, we had to walk like 23546363 miles to go find his "buddies" at other tailgates, and yea I whining the whole time. I really don't know what it is, I just don't get into tailgating. However, I did make a list of things that dad could bring next week to the tailgate to enhance my experience. The list included, a portable AC unit, a flat screen tv, and chick-fil-a platters. Wishful thinking right? Regardless of all my feelings about tailgating, I have to state that for the record, ODU football fails miserably in comparison to VT football....tailgate and all. Miss my hokies!

2)Working out is dangerous...for me at least. Today I took a step class at the gym that I've been going to in Suffolk. I have taken step before, but never at this gym. I have literally taken step class over 100 times, but this class today made me look like an idiot! The instructor, bless his heart, was probably 65, had the darkest tan I've ever seen, and was JACKED! Before this class I thought I was in decent shape...but let me tell you, this man put me to shame! I was tripping over the bench, stepping in one direction while the whole class stepped in another, and to make things worse, he kept pointing out every time I stepped with my left instead of right. I was never good at distinguishing between my right and left foot...get over it buddy. But here's the kicker; as bad as I did in the class, I was the sweatiest person there! My t-shirt was literally soaked all down the front. So I'm looking in the mirror in class and these other ladies aren't even glistening. Meanwhile, I look like I just took a shower with my clothes on. Sexy, I know. But seriously, there was one time during class that I missed the bench and rolled my ankle...I thought I was a goner. No more step for me for a while.

3) Shopping for "work clothes" is not as fun as it sounds. Yesterday my mom and I went to the mall to get me some new clothes for my internship. I literally have no dress clothes. The extent of my wardrobe in college was VT t-shirts and jeans. So, we started off at Macy's in the dress clothes section. To start with, my mom and I have some what different taste in clothes. But I humor her and try on what she gives me. Macy's was NOT a success. Literally every pair of pants that I tried on was too short. Next we ventured to Express. Deep down I knew that I would find clothes at Express to begin with, but I really wasn't ready to drop 60 dollars on a pair of dress pants. But when you're 5'9 and need "tall" pants, Express is your best bet. So, 3 pairs of pants, 1 shirt, 1 dress, and 5 tops later, I checked out....with MY MONEY. I know, I'm still in shock just thinking about it. I could just see the amusement on my mom's face as she watched me pay the hefty bill. And the whole time I'm just thinking, this sucks because I'll be sitting at a desk all day answering phones and no one will see me in my cute new work clothes. Okay, I'll stop the whining here. And regardless of all my whining, the weekend was awesome and I am truly a lucky girl. Today was the first day of the internship, by the way. It was really exciting! I'll have a blog about that later....stay tuned!

Life is Short

Lately it seems as though I am constantly being reminded about how short life is. When I was younger, I couldn't wait to grow up, be done with school, get married and start a family. Now that I'm older, I'd give anything to go back to middle school and do it all over again. Only this time I would cherish it more. Instead of wishing for time to fly by, I would savor every second and never take one minute for granted. My grandpa told me today on the phone, "The older you get the faster time goes by." I've heard this saying a million times but it really hit home today. I cannot believe my four years of college are over. I cannot believe I'm going shopping for business clothes tomorrow to wear to work! Every day seems to go by faster than the one before. So for now, I'm soaking up every minute. Because you never know when it might be your last.

With that said...tell some one you love them, miss them, care about them, need them in your life, appreciate them, want to take them to Mickey D's to get a happy meal. Whatever it is you need to say, SAY IT NOW. Unspoken words will never be heard. Like John Mayer said, "Say what you need to say."

RIP Mary Jane- Thanks for all the beanie babies, American Girl clothes, bath and body works stuff, jewelry...and of course all the memories.




"Did you ever wonder what it would be like if you weren’t you anymore? If you were suddenly gone how would your world react? Whatever you imagined was wrong. There’s nothing romantic about death. Grief is like the ocean: it’s deep and dark and bigger than all of us. And pain is like a thief in the night. Quiet. Persistent. Unfair. Diminished by time and faith and love."
-One Tree Hill

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

September is here and I am super excited for everything that is going on this month! I'm already loving this awesome weather we are having lately. September is going to be MY MONTH. I can feel it in the air. Big things are gonna happen people, watch out. With that said, I was thinking tonight about how you can never say, "thank you" too many times. And I have so many things to be thankful for, I thought I would list them out incase I ever forget. And also, thank YOU in advance for continuing to read my blogs! I am thankful for all of my dedicated readers!!

I am thankful for (in no particular order):

my health.
my true friends.
having a mom that I can talk to about anything.
my parents letting me live at home for free.
air conditioning on hot days.
my 2 puppy dogs.
free speech...hence me writing this blog.
my great relationship with my sister.
all of the job opportunities I have been presented with.
macaroni and cheese.
music.
running water.
being able to run.
pretty flowers...preferably from a secret admirer.
fresh air.
honest people.
uncensored, raw emotions.
love stories...real and make believe...but real ones are always better.
cold drinks.
ice to go with cold drinks.
laughter.
beautiful beaches.
ice cream.
forgiveness.
eternal life.
non smoking restaurants.
karaoke.
comfortable beds.
reality tv...hey, its entertaining.
people who fight for our country.
people who help lead our country.
having my college education paid for.
skype, texting, email, AIM..only to keep in touch with friends.
Virginia Tech Football.
mexican food.
sun roofs.
fuzzy blankets.
having a nice car to drive.
the roof over my head.
meeting people who have changed my life
being given the opportunity to change the lives of children.
sun tans.
outdoor concerts.
leather seats.
having a family who accepts me for who I am.
sweatpants.

What are YOU thankful for?

I should be a professional job interviewer

So lately I have been applying for/ interviewing for jobs. Only makes sense seeing that I'm out of college, living with my parents, and broke. So, with all of my interviews going on lately, I've started to discover a pattern; about my own behavior and the interview itself.

My behavior: I obsess over what I'm wearing...typical girl thing but seriously, what do you wear to an interview these days? Is a suit too formal? what exactly defines business casual? I didn't learn these things in school..and if they were taught I obviously wasn't paying attention. Needless to say I give myself a good amount of time to get ready.

Also, on the drive to the interview I am NOT nervous at all. It is kinda strange. I'm just in this weird calm, relaxed mood.

BUT THEN, as soon as I pull in the parking space at the interview I start to panic. I sweat profusely, and my heart is racing. So, after a 5 minute pep talk in the car I pull myself together and go inside.

To be completely honest, I have what I like to call, a bitch face. I don't actually act like a bitch, but my face in its relaxed, natural state, looks like I want to smack someone in the face. I have been told this many times and I've come to accept it. So, this makes the interviewing process even more challenging. I have to constantly remind myself not to stare at people like I hate them, and SMILEEEEEE like I'm on a crest white strips commercial. I'm working on developing a new happier face as we speak, don't worry.

So the interview always starts with the introductions, the hand shake, ice breakers, how are you doing today, nice weather, cute shirt, etc.

THEN WE GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.

What kind of leadership experience have you had?
Name 3 people, dead or alive, who you would like to meet.
Tell me about a time where you had to make a difficult decision.
What is your biggest strength?
What is your biggest weakness?
What qualities would you bring to this job?
Why do you think this job is right for you?
(I'm not listing these for the sake of typing...I know there are some of you out there who might need these one day!)

So the hour long interview flies by in what seems like ten minutes and I can't even remember anything that I said other than "nice to meet you" and "thank you for the opportunity". Most of the time I remember more about the decor of the room or what the interview person was wearing. It honestly feels like I blackout while I'm talking and then finally come around when they say "well I think that's all."

The drive home is always longer than the drive there. I'm over-analyzing, mass texting everyone who wants to know about the interview (thanks guys!) and usually listening to my mom give me the run down on what I did well and what I should have done instead...always a fun conversation.

Then the waiting begins. I mean, how soon after someone says "you'll hear from us soon" is too soon? Wew. A couple days? A week? And I am a total phone call screener too. So when I see a random number I think to myself...could this be the interview person calling or some creeper I gave my number to. So then I let it go to voicemail and panic when someone from the company says to call them back as soon as possible.

I take a few deep breaths and call them back. When the phone is still ringing I imagine my most friendly voice and happy greeting. I swear I would make a killing in telemarketing. Who can resist this voice? Its like an angel.

Well, now you know the inner workings of my mind/ how I get ready for an interview. Take from this what you will. But hey, I must be doing something right...the phone keeps on ringing. A little thing I like to call opportunity is on the line...

You're just jealous cuz we're young and in love.

Yesterday I had a super emo moment listening to one of my favorite bands, Brand New. In high school I was obsessed with Brand New. I used their lyrics to apply to my life and pasted them all over my myspace and AIM profile. The title of this blog, comes from a Brand New song (posted below). I can remember living and breathing for this song and thinking that people were jealous of my high school boyfriend and I because we were young and in love. How precious/corny. But listening to those old songs got me thinking about how much I miss high school and how simple life was back then. I miss my volcom hoodies, my black and pink vans, concerts in smokey bars, the feeling of finding your first "true love" and thinking it will last forever, connecting with people through the words in a song, feeling emotions and not being afraid to express them, not worrying about what the future holds, living for the moment.

Not to say that I have a super complicated life now or anything, but things back then were just so much easier. My biggest problem back then was whether or not my mom would let me stay out past curfew. I had forgotten what it feels like to listen to a song and be completely taken away to a different place. Music has always been a big part of my life..I think I just forgot how big of a part it used to be.


"Soco Amaretto Lime" Brand New

Passed out on the overpass
Sunday best and broken glass
Broken down from the bikes and bars
Suspended like spirits over speeding cars
You and me were kings over the parkway tonight
And tonight will go on forever while we
walk around this town like we own the streets
and stay awake through summer like we own the heat
Singing "everybody wake up (wake up) it's time to get down"
(everybody, everybody wake up its time to get down)
And when I pass the bottle back to Pete
on the overpass tonight, I bet we laugh

I'm gonna stay eighteen forever (cut me open)
So we can stay like this forever (sun poisoned)
And we'll never miss a party (this offer...)
cause we keep them going constantly (...stands forever)
And we'll never have to listen (new haircut)
to anyone about anything (new bracelet)
cause it's all been done and it's all been said (eyeliner)
we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get

The hell out of this town
Find some conversation
The low fuel lights been on for days
It doesn't mean anything
I've got another 500, 'nother 500 miles
before we shut this engine down,
we shut it down

I'm gonna stay eighteen forever (cut me open)
So we can stay like this forever (sun poisoned)
And we'll never miss a party (this offer...)
cause we keep them going constantly (...stands forever)
And we'll never have to listen (new haircut)
to anyone about anything (new bracelet)
cause it's all been done and it's all been said (eyeliner)
we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get (wait forever)

(you're just jealous cause I'm young and in love)
Eighteen forever (first kisses)
(your stomach's filled up but you're starved for conversation)
So we can stay like this forever (new stitches)
(you're spending all your nights growing old in your bed)
And we'll never miss a party (collar weekend)
(and your tearin up your photos cause you wanna forget... it's over)
cause we keep them going constantly (appearance ticket)
(you're just jealous cause I'm young and in love)
And we'll never have to listen (November to...)
(your stomach's filled up but you're starved for conversation)
to anyone about anything cause it's all been done (...remember)
(you're spending all your nights growing old in your bed)
and it's all been said (nightswimmers)
(and your tearin up your photos cause you wanna forget... it's over)
we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get

Just jealous cause we're young and in love
You're just jealous cause we're young and in love
You're just jealous cause we're young and in love
You're just jealous cause we're young and in love
You're just jealous cause we're young and in love

He's only ever let you down...

I've said this before but, the truth hurts. Especially when its staring you in the face and you can't pretend that you don't see it. So hit the game over button and start all over again. I was getting tired of playing that game anyway...



Use Somebody- Kings of Leon

I've been roaming around always lookin down at all I see.
Painted faces fill the places I can't reach.
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you
And all you know and how you speak
Countless lovers undercover of the street
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you
Off in the night while you live it up I'm off to sleep
Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice
Someone like me

Don't get your hopes up...

So lately there have been alot of things that I have been hoping for. I've had my hopes up for job opportunities, personal relationships, etc. But why is it that whenever you start hoping for something people always say, "Don't get your hopes up?" Is that just something people say or are they really trying to protect you from getting hurt/ being disappointed. Either way, I like having my hopes up. I like the feeling of waiting to see what is going to happen next and hoping it is something great. Of course I've had my hopes up many times before, and the results do not always turn out in my favor. Naturally, I then tell myself to not get my hopes up anymore and avoid the heartbreak/ disappointment all together. But how long can we really tell ourselves not to get our hopes up? Maybe we all like hoping that this time won't turn out like the last. This time things will work out like we've dreamed they would in our minds. This time we'll skip the heart ache and the doubt and head straight towards the happiness and joy. Here's to hoping...

Updates

Sorry for the gap in posts! I don't want you guys to think that I'm not thinking about writing. I just get stuck on what to write about. Feel free to share any ideas you have on what I should write about.

So I decided that this blog should be updates on what I've been up to lately/random thoughts about life. Here ya go.

1. Summer camp officially ended on Friday. Mixed feelings...I enjoyed the job very much but I have never been so tired in my life!

2. Interview on Monday and I'm excited! Keep your fingers crossed for me.

3. Used the pick up line, "Where do I know you from?" at a bar last weekend. AND it worked.

4. Zac Efron is GORGEOUS. period.

5. Cancer sucks. Why isn't there a cure yet? It seems like everyday someone I know is being diagnosed.

6. Did karaoke at a bar last weekend where the average age was 50. Belted out "How Will I know" by Whitney Houston and got a good laugh from the crowd.

7. Learned the everything in life happens for a reason. I'm pretty sure I already knew that but I was just reminded recently.

8. Also was reminded that there are few things in life that we have total control over. Sometimes you just have to learn to let go and trust.

9. Saw a movie last night and I've been trying to remember this great quote from it.
It went something like, "Half the fun in life is trying to figure out what you want to do. The other half, the more important half, is figuring out who you want to spend it with."

10. As much as I miss Blacksburg, I am SO glad to not be in school right now. This past couple months have been stressful, but a learning experience. I am excited for what the future holds.

May Angels Lead You In

I've had the song "Hear You Me" by Jimmy Eat World in my head for the last couple of days. I've always loved this song but it seems fitting for the way things are going right now. Never take life for granted, tomorrow is not guaranteed. Rest in peace Emily.

For the life of me, I could not find the Jimmy Eat World video, so I settled for one that goes with some scenes from One Tree Hill.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZb9OGDpNCw&feature=related


"Hear You Me"

There's no one in town I know
You gave us some place to go.
I never said thank you for that.
I thought I might get one more chance.

What would you think of me now,
So lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
Now I'll never have a chance.

May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.

Now what would you think of me now,
So lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
Now I'll never have a chance.

May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.

And if you were with me tonight,
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big,
God couldn't let it live.

May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.

May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.

Water on the rocks, please

Last night some friends and I attempted to go to the free Jason Aldean concert in Norfolk. After waiting in traffic FOREVER, we reached the gate only to be turned away by 2 huge military dudes. Needless to say we were not happy. So, since we were already dressed up and ready for a good night, we ventured out to Va Beach and ended up at this place called Kokamoes. (Cool place by the way).

For those of you who don't know, I've been pretty sick the past couple of days. Going out last night was probably against my better judgment, but I was going nuts sitting in my house. So I had some good,sober fun at a bar full of wasted people.

Whenever I'm sober at bars I always get to thinking. Here were some of my thoughts last night:

Why do people go to bars?
Why do guys come to bars alone?
Why do guys think its okay to dance on you without asking?
Am I going to meet my future boyfriend/husband in a bar? (God I hope not)
Why do white people dance...at all? Seriously just don't.


So, my answer to the first question, why do people go to bars, is this. People go to bars with the hopes of meeting other people, preferably of the opposite sex. If their attempts to meet people don't go as planned, they just continue to drink more until it doesn't matter anymore. But here's where my problem comes in. When I'm getting ready to go to a bar, I'm doing my hair, makeup, picking out a nice outfit, all the while I'm imagining the "perfect" guy I will meet when I get to the bar. Now the problem, is when I get to the bar I think to myself, ew I don't want to talk to any of these creeps. Guys in bars are socially awkward. They either stare at you until you're forced to look away, make up a random question to ask you, or ask you to dance when you are clearly happy just dancing with your girlfriends. So, the lesson I learned from this is, I need to stop expecting to meet someone at a bar.

But seriously, how do guys and girls meet each other after college? The bars in college were so much different than they are now. At least at Tech I knew that everyone in the bar was a college student, so that took away from their creepiness. But now, when I go out in Norfolk or Va Beach, I never know who I'm going to end up talking to. I don't mean to sound like a prude or anything, but there are just some people out there that I do not want to talk to. Maybe I'm being a little harsh and judgmental, but its hard to know who to trust these days. I guess I'm just not ready to accept the idea that "Mr. Perfect" could be out at the bar drinking his bud light and waiting for me to meet him. Can't I just meet someone in the gym? Or grocery store line for that matter? See, this is what is wrong with the world today. We think our lives should mirror movies and fiction novels. But let's be serious, the odds of me meeting someone in the grocery line are about as good as me winning the lottery.

But then that fear starts to creep in. You know, the little voice in the back of your head that warns you, you better meet someone or you'll never get married and be single forever. I HATE that voice. And sometimes I do let the voice get to me and the idea of not finding someone does scare me. But on the other hand, I'm young, and its too early to settle for just anyone. And maybe being single forever isn't as terrible as it sounds. I could make a great cougar some day...

The Ugly Truth

Monday night marked a first in my less than wonderful dating life. I went on a blind date with someone significantly older than me. Not that the age matters, but just going on a blind date in general was intimidating! Unfortunately, fire works did not go off, horns did not sound in the background, and it was not love at first sight. But I definitely learned a few life lessons. And we all know how much I love learning new things. Especially when it comes to the opposite sex. Anyway, here are some things I learned.

Blind dates in real life aren't the same as they are on tv. To be honest, it was pretty normal. I thought I would be super nervous and awkward, but I surprised myself with how calm I was. Sure, I felt a little like I'd be "matched" like the website match.com but I am NOT above that. haha. I also reaffirmed something that I already knew. If you continue to ask people questions about themselves, you will never run out of things to talk about. People are self-centered, they like to hear the sound of their own voice, and they like to brag about their job, finances, hot bod, etc.

Now, perhaps the most important lesson that came from the date is this: Before you can fall in love, live happily ever after, have a house with a white fence, you must, absolutely MUST have a physical connection with the person. Maybe it sounds like a "no duh" type lesson but seriously, when is the last time you approached a guy in a bar because he looked like he had a nice personality? People don't even want to hold conversations with people unless they find them physically attractive. Think about your friends, usually pretty people hang out with other pretty people. Think about your past relationships, did you not look at him when you first met and think oh, he's hot? Well, maybe it's just me, but I've realized that I have GOT to like what I'm looking at physically before I even begin to connect emotionally.

Maybe it sounds like I've got things backwards, but I really think I'm on to something here. Why would you want to spend time getting to know someone's personality if you already know that there's no potential for chemistry? And who doesn't have "the list" of physical features that they want their ideal boyfriend/girlfriend to have. We all want that tall, dark, handsome, preferably well off, guy. It's the ugly truth, and it stings a bit. It might sound shallow or judgmental, but just give it some thought. For me, I'm a shoe person. If a guy has bad shoes, I know that things aren't going anywhere. Some people get hung up about crooked teeth, for others its height. I am a shoe person! What are you?

I LOVE THIS SONG!

I don't know how old/new this song is but I am obsessed with it. It's called "Broken" and it is by Lifehouse.

Broken

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
And I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (In the pain) there's the healing
In your name (In your name) I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I would, would be ok

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (In the pain) there is healing
In your name (In your name) I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin)
I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on, (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you

Kids

EXTREMELY SORRY that I have written in forever. There are no excuses so I won't even make one up. Honestly, I haven't really been in the blogging mood lately and this thing is hard to keep up with. Sorry to disappoint.

For those of you who don't know, my job is working with kids and teens at a summer camp program. I swear, some of the stuff these kids do amazes me. Clearly I do not remember being an annoying kid like some of the ones I have to deal with on a daily basis. The questions never stop, the whining is constant, the hitting, punching, kicking, fighting, yelling, crying, and pouting are ongoing from the time camp starts to the time camp ends. But my question is, why are these kids so BAD all the time? And until the day I die I will argue that girls are better behaved than boys. And boys smell so bad too! Some of them act like they have never been told what to do before. They just look at me like, are you talking to me? Uhhh yes sweetheart I am.

Needless to say working this job has made me think ALOT about kids, and if I even want them in the future. I honestly don't know how people have any more than 1 kid. I don't think I could handle it! But I do know one thing, if I do have kids, they are going to be the most poliet, most well mannered kids anyone has ever met. Because there is nothing worse than a person who has no manners or home training. And if you don't start it young then it will only get worse when they get older. Also, while I'm thinking about it, here are some other things that my kids will/won't do:

1. My kids will NOT eat fast food....especially not McDonald's.

2. My kids will NOT play on indoor playgrounds with balls...which will be avoided since they won't eat fast food. (and I can't believe I did that as a kid, how gross...people poop in there!)

3. My kids will most likely wear leashes until they are old enough to learn to stay beside me in public places. (yes, I will be THAT mom)

4. My kids will not have 400 different types of electronic games to occupy their time.

5. My kids will say yes mam and yes sir when they speak to adults.

6. My daughter will be allowed to compete in beauty pageants if she wants to. (because my mom never allowed me to and I'm still not over it.)

I could go on but I'll stop before people think I'm crazy. I've told my mom all of these things that I want my kids to do and she says that there is no way it will actually happen. Hopefully I will prove her wrong.