I should be a professional job interviewer

So lately I have been applying for/ interviewing for jobs. Only makes sense seeing that I'm out of college, living with my parents, and broke. So, with all of my interviews going on lately, I've started to discover a pattern; about my own behavior and the interview itself.

My behavior: I obsess over what I'm wearing...typical girl thing but seriously, what do you wear to an interview these days? Is a suit too formal? what exactly defines business casual? I didn't learn these things in school..and if they were taught I obviously wasn't paying attention. Needless to say I give myself a good amount of time to get ready.

Also, on the drive to the interview I am NOT nervous at all. It is kinda strange. I'm just in this weird calm, relaxed mood.

BUT THEN, as soon as I pull in the parking space at the interview I start to panic. I sweat profusely, and my heart is racing. So, after a 5 minute pep talk in the car I pull myself together and go inside.

To be completely honest, I have what I like to call, a bitch face. I don't actually act like a bitch, but my face in its relaxed, natural state, looks like I want to smack someone in the face. I have been told this many times and I've come to accept it. So, this makes the interviewing process even more challenging. I have to constantly remind myself not to stare at people like I hate them, and SMILEEEEEE like I'm on a crest white strips commercial. I'm working on developing a new happier face as we speak, don't worry.

So the interview always starts with the introductions, the hand shake, ice breakers, how are you doing today, nice weather, cute shirt, etc.

THEN WE GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.

What kind of leadership experience have you had?
Name 3 people, dead or alive, who you would like to meet.
Tell me about a time where you had to make a difficult decision.
What is your biggest strength?
What is your biggest weakness?
What qualities would you bring to this job?
Why do you think this job is right for you?
(I'm not listing these for the sake of typing...I know there are some of you out there who might need these one day!)

So the hour long interview flies by in what seems like ten minutes and I can't even remember anything that I said other than "nice to meet you" and "thank you for the opportunity". Most of the time I remember more about the decor of the room or what the interview person was wearing. It honestly feels like I blackout while I'm talking and then finally come around when they say "well I think that's all."

The drive home is always longer than the drive there. I'm over-analyzing, mass texting everyone who wants to know about the interview (thanks guys!) and usually listening to my mom give me the run down on what I did well and what I should have done instead...always a fun conversation.

Then the waiting begins. I mean, how soon after someone says "you'll hear from us soon" is too soon? Wew. A couple days? A week? And I am a total phone call screener too. So when I see a random number I think to myself...could this be the interview person calling or some creeper I gave my number to. So then I let it go to voicemail and panic when someone from the company says to call them back as soon as possible.

I take a few deep breaths and call them back. When the phone is still ringing I imagine my most friendly voice and happy greeting. I swear I would make a killing in telemarketing. Who can resist this voice? Its like an angel.

Well, now you know the inner workings of my mind/ how I get ready for an interview. Take from this what you will. But hey, I must be doing something right...the phone keeps on ringing. A little thing I like to call opportunity is on the line...