Excuse me waiter, why do I have so many forks?

Yesterday I had the honor and privilege of attending a luncheon with people who are way more important than I am. ( A first, I know). This luncheon was held at a very nice restaurant in the Chesapeake area. Needless to say I had never been to this restaurant before because I do not have a loving, generous boyfriend to pay for me. (Currently accepting applications!). So when I arrived at the restaurant I was nervous/excited/overwhelmed/freaking out on the inside. But I smiled and introduced myself to everyone and pretended like I was cool as a cucumber. Let me just say this before I go any further, when I think of a luncheon, I think of appetizers, or small sandwiches, or chicken fingers. You get the point. Well, when I sat down at the table for my luncheon yesterday, I was shocked to find a menu already typed up, with 3 courses picked out. My first thought upon reading the menu was, well maybe I don't want a small caesar salad, NY strip with garlic mashed potatoes and fresh green beans, and a slice of cheesecake. But who am I kidding? I'll eat pretty much anything that is put in front of me. As the luncheon went on, my thought process continued on as follows, oh god please don't let me spill anything, I guess picking up a crouton with my fingers is inappropriate in this setting, why does it sound like I'm chewing so loud, why is everyone eating so slow, why are there so many forks, why does the waitress replace my fork every time she takes my plate, I don't know how to cut steak without looking like a savage beast, man this cheesecake is amazing, wow is the luncheon already over?
So let's go back to the highlight of the meal, the steak with mashed potatoes and green beans. I kid you not when I say that I did not cut my own steak until I left for college. And then I just never ordered steak so that I didn't have to learn. As a child my mom cut my steak because she didn't want me to hurt myself with a knife. Well, I guess I just kept asking her to cut it even when I was old enough to handle a knife. So, needless to say I did panic a little when the waitress put the steak in front of me. Maybe I should have turned to the very important person next to me and asked him to cut it since my mommy was at work. SIKE! So, I looked around for a few minutes and watched everyone else cut their steak like normal human beings. I tried my best to imitate them and managed to do a pretty good job. So, minus the slight panic attack, my first 3 course luncheon was a great success. All I have to say is, when I'm a successful and important career woman, my luncheons will consist of finger foods and ice cream, lots of ice cream.