Stories to make you LOL...or atleast I think they should.

Hello again, dear readers. I have two stories that I would like to share from this weekend. I find them funny and amusing so hopefully you will too.

This Saturday I ran my FIRST 5K! I will admit that I was hesitant about the idea at first, but I actually enjoyed it! I ran the race with my mom, who definitely kept me going when I wanted to stop and walk. Nothing worse than getting beat by your 50 year old mother right? So we ran together, most of the time anyway, and froze our butts off! But I had on so many layers that I was actually sweating like a pig. About half way through the race I noticed myself falling behind my mom. I kept thinking, is she speeding up or am I slowing down? Either way, I was STRUGGLING to get to the finish line. At one point I was dry heaving/ choking on my own spit. Attractive, I know. But then, right before the home stretch, I got a huge kick of adrenaline. The crowd was cheering, and the Rocky theme song was playing in the background...or maybe I imagined that. And all of a sudden I took off in a sprint and passed my mom right before the finish line. I even gave her a little wink when I ran by. The look on her face was PRICELESS! She was so mad! And the best part is, there's a picture of us on the website for the race that shows me running past her at the finish line with a big smile on my face. I told her we should order it and frame it. So yes, I did beat my mom, but she wants it to be known that I only beat her by 2 seconds. (And she said that she let me win so that I wouldn't be upset.) Whatever you say, mom.

Saturday night I attended a lovely party at the home of one of my good friends. After a few hours there, we ventured out to the bars in the freezing cold. At the bar I met a guy (shocker), who will remain nameless in case he some how tracks me down and reads my blog. Anyway, so I met this guy and we started talking. And I'll just preface this by saying that I've realized that I am really mean to guys when I first meet them! Case and point: This guy at the bar, I'll call him Josh, was wearing a bright red vest. Like the zip up kind that was popular...um, never. So I started off the conversation with, "Sweet vest." I don't remember his exact response but it was enough to get a conversation going. I proceeded to joke on the vest, unzip the zipper and make him feel like a total dork for wearing it. But he kept talking to me anyway. Then I moved on to his emo, comb-over hair do, or should I say don't. I don't mean comb-over like the guy was going bald, but he combed his hair to the side instead of letting it just hang down. So, naturally I had to ask him why he wore his hair like that. Then I proceeded to brush his hair straight down to see why he said it looked bad unless it was combed to the side. Well, at least he was right about one thing. And let me just say that this guy was NOT ugly. I know I'm ragging on him but he was very good looking minus the vest and comb-over. And don't worry I checked his shoes; he told me they were Armani. I'm not sure if he was lying but I really didn't care too much because they weren't ugly and that's all that matters. Then we started talking about our jobs. He told me he was a Navy diver. And at first this sounded legitimate but then I started to think, aren't divers for the Navy called Navy Seals? But he definitely didn't tell me he was a Navy Seal. So either there are multiple types of divers for the Navy or he made the job up. And I was also confused that his hair was on the longer side for the military, because I thought it had to be cut a certain way. Some how we got on the subject of my broken leg. I actually took my boot off in the bar and showed him the scar AND made him feel it. As I'm sitting here writing this I'm thinking, why in the world did this guy stick around for so long to talk to me? I sound like a total weirdo So it was getting late and my lovely sister was coming to pick me up and drive me home. I told Josh "bye" and walked away to find my friends. Before I left, Josh's wingman came up to me and said, "So did he get your number, are yall gonna hang out?" I told Mister Wingman that Josh did not ask for my number, and then I walked away to leave. Just before I got to the door I felt a tap on my shoulder. Well what do you know, Mr. Clueless wanted to ask me for my number! So I gave it to him (sidenote: I really need to stop giving out my number to random people), and he gave me his. We exchanged a few texts on the drive home, his mainly consisted of "lol" over and over again. Not really sure what was so funny though. I told him to text me tomorrow AKA today and shockingly, he hasn't.I mean I really don't see why he wouldn't, I joked on his outfit, his hair, made him feel the metal in my leg, and questioned his career as a "Navy diver." How dare I! Oh and I almost forgot! He told me his last name was Hefner, "like Hugh Hefner." And much to my disappointment, after some in depth facebook stalking I could not find him. I'm beginning to think that this guy either has multiple personalities, or made up his entire life story. So ladies and gents, the moral of the story is, avoid guys wearing vests in bars, especially if they have a semi comb-over. And if you are that guy in the bar wearing a vest, take it off, burn it, and try a polo button-up on for size.