In most of my blogs I usually say something like, "If you have ideas for a blog let me know and I will write about it." Well, I FINALLY got someone to give me a topic! This dedicated reader, told me last night that he wanted to know why girls think they have to say, "I love you", so early on in the relationship and rush into being so serious. And along with this he also wondered why girls think every relationship has to be a fairy tale, instead of just reality. So, I will now attempt to answer his questions with a fun, wity blog. Here goes nothing.
I will begin with a story. A long, long time ago, I fell in love with a boy who changed my whole world. I was young, probably 16 at the time, and when I fell in love I fell hard. I wrote love notes, poems, songs, drew hearts on my notebook in class, counted down the hours until I could see him again. Try to hold back the vomit, okay? When I said, "I love you" to him we had been dating for about three months. It was Valentine's Day, and we had just finished a couple's photo shoot at Sears and dinner at Olive Garden. I don't think it gets any cheesier than that. So as we were about to end the night, due to my super early curfew, he told me that he loved me. That's right, he said it first. But I was going to say it anyway if he didn't for some reason. And that was it. We were in love and wanted the whole world to know. It felt like everyday I loved him more, and there was no end in sight. We told eachother that we would spend "forever" together, get married and have a family. And we meant it. I can honestly say that we truly, deeply loved eachother. And when it ended it was sad, but people change and you have to let go sometimes. But I don't regret any of it. It was the best relationship I've ever had...and pretty much the only one, minus a few other short lived romances.
So what is the point of this story? The point is, everyone starts out with the "fairy tale romance" in their heads. We all want it. We read about it, watch movies about it, Cosmo tells us about it, our friends swear that their boyfriends treat them like princesses, it's EVERYWHERE. And when we fall in love for the first time, we actually start believing that fairy tales exist. I know I did for a while. But then the bubble burts, and reality sets in. We realize that being in love is not all its cracked up to be. It's frustrating, demanding, overwhelming at times. Not easy and argument free like the movies suggest. And we become hardened, maybe even a little jaded by love and what it has done to us in the past. But I think this needs to happen in order for us to see the truth about relationships. And that truth is, falling in love is the easy part. It's all the other stuff that takes work. The trusting, the committing, the putting in effort to make the other person happy. Those are the little things that mean the most and we all STRUGGLE with those.
So when a girl says, "I love you" super early in the relationship, either she hasn't had her fairy tale bubble burst yet, or she truly does love you. And while it's great that she loves you, it doesn't mean that things will last forever. That old saying "love conquers all" is such crap. Sometimes it just takes us a little while to see through the crap and figure out what we really want. And at the end of my day, all I really want is to be happy. Everything else will work itself out in time. Does that answer your question?
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Personally, I think there's some unspoken "pressure" on a relationship to fall head over heels for each other quickly & that sucks. It can ruin a relationship & rush it into intense emotions that just complicate everything more than necessary. I think slow & steady is the key to any relationship these days.
ReplyDelete..That's just my two cents :)
--LP