A scene from my dreams- A Fiction Piece

So, I haven't written a fiction piece in a while, and today I was feeling inspired by the rain. Enjoy.

I’m sitting in traffic, counting the drops of rain as they bead down on my windshield. And all of a sudden I’m not in the car anymore. All of a sudden I’m taken to a memory, a vision, a scene from my dreams starring me and you. We’re at dinner, maybe outside my front door, or perhaps wrapped up in a blanket watching the waves crash on the shore. I look at you, my eyes full of emotions and words unspoken, and you smile. You smile that smile that melts me, that makes me forget why I was ever mad at you a day in my life, makes me want to stay in this moment with you forever and just breathe it all in. But behind that smile is a head full of thoughts that I can’t see into, can’t read into, can’t comprehend what you want me to. But I try, and I’ve been trying for weeks, months, years, to read between the lines and find you, the real you. Why won’t you let me find you? Let me see you exposed and broken down. Let me hear the words roll off your tongue, those words that I’ve been waiting to hear for so long.

As I sit beside you with anxious eyes and a heart that’s been broken a thousand times, I laugh. I laugh so that I won’t cry. I laugh because I’m nervous and uncertain about what I’m even doing here in the first place. Preparing to spill my heart on the table in front you, I’ve been choking on these words for so long I’m not even sure if they will come out now. With hands shaking I turn my body to face you, and I take in one last deep breath. As I breathe it out, “I love you”, slips from my mouth like a whisper, and I wonder if you heard me. I don’t think I have to strength to say it again. Because when I’m with you, my strength is gone. I’m powerless in a war that’s raging right in front of me. I’m sick with stomach that’s tied up in knots. And you are my medicine, my drug. You make me better. You make me feel like a toy with new batteries inside, I’ve never felt so alive. I want to hug you, kiss you, breathe you in so that I never forget you. And while my mind is racing you take my hand. I’m afraid to look up and hear what you eyes have to say. You come closer and I can feel your warm breath in my ear. And when you let go all I hear is air; and the life being sucked out of me. Another night with words left unsaid. I’m a fool for expecting anything more.

I’m sitting in traffic, counting the drops of rain as they bead down on my windshield. And you’re not here anymore.