Something I just realized recently...

Alright, it shouldn't be a surprise to any of my blog readers when I say that my love life is pretty much non-existent. I'm not saying this for people to pitty me, I'm simply stating the facts, and the facts are that I am as single as the girls in Beyonce's song "Single Ladies." So lately I've been thinking to myself, why is it that I'm single? I've come up with a couple of possible answers. 1) Perhaps it's because I just don't try to look for guys 2) Maybe it's because I'm overweight...in my mind at least. 3) Perhaps it's because when a guy likes me, I'm not interested in him. Then when he stops liking me, moves on to another girl, I start liking him.

I can think of two examples to prove that this is true. During my sophomore and junior years of college, I was going through a phase. I like to describe this phase as the, "I don't care about anything other than going to frat parties and drinking Franzia all night." And although these were probably my most exciting years of college, I did miss out on a few things. I can specifically remember a guy liking me during most of my sophomore year. This guy didn't go to Virginia Tech, but we had known each other for a few years. I guess you could say it wasn't that I didn't like him at the time, but he was 300 miles away and I was blinded by the frat boy Natural Light.

About two years later, things completely changed. I realized that I really did like this guy, but I was just too consumed with everything happening around me to notice. So, as luck would have it, when I told him that I liked him and wanted to be with him, he did not feel the same. Talk about bad timing. But I guess it's like they always say, if it's meant to be it will be. And in this case, it was not meant to be.

Next example. Towards the end of my "phase" during my junior year, I started hanging out with another guy who liked me. This guy did not go to Virginia Tech either, but we had gone to High School together. So, summer after junior year we hung out, went on a few dates, nothing serious. I actually worked up the courage to tell him that I liked him, but the next day I decided that I didn't. I don't know what it is, but when someone really likes me, I just get freaked out and want to go back to the beginning stage where neither of us would admit that they liked each other.

So things with this guy obviously didn't turn out that well. He felt like I was leading him on, and I felt like things were moving too fast. Luckily I was able to escape everything when I had to go back to school in August. But things didn't end there. When I came home this summer I tried to reconnect with him. But he was NOT having it. I guess it's safe to say that he was over me and had moved on. I felt pretty stupid about the whole situation, and I definitely regret not giving him a chance. My most recent attempt to hang out with him came a few weeks ago when I sent him a text message at 1am asking him to be my valentine. That's not embarrassing at all. And his response was, "Sorry someone beat you to it." Womp womp.

So what is the point in all of this? I'm not trying to make myself look cool by saying that guys like(d) me and I was too busy for them. I'm trying to say that now I'm all alone and I missed out on two great guys because I was too busy wasting my time on Mr. Frat-tastic. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not still hung up on these two guys, and sitting in my room thinking about what could have been. I just honestly wonder if I would even know "the right guy" if he was standing right in front of me. I'm really not sure...