"Nobody likes you when you're 23"

"Oh wait, but I'm 23."

These were my exact words this past weekend when the Blink 182 song, "What's My Age Again," came on at the bar in DC. I stood there at the bar with my vodka/tonic in hand, trying to process the fact that the song I used to sing when I was 16 is now a song about ME!! Well, not literally, but still, where did those 7 years go? Needless to say I had an emotional moment in the bar with my best friend and we reflected on how fast time goes by and how it seems like just yesterday we were meeting for the first time in our dorm freshman year. Oh, the memories.

I know all of you have been anxiously waiting to hear how my magical weekend with Chelsea Handler went. I am pleased to say that I MET CHELSEA HANDLER AND HAD AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION WITH HER!!! (Insert excessive excitement here). Here is how the conversation went:

Me: "Oh my god, I seriously love you. I want to be you, like seriously."
Chelsea: "Haha, well thanks for loving me. Keep loving me!"
Me: "Okay I will. I also want to work for you one day. And I'll see you at your show tonight."
Chelsea: "Okay, next."
(just kidding, she didn't respond after I said that because there were 200 people waiting behind me)



Also, everyone should be very proud that I figured out how to upload a picture to my blog!! This is a picture of me and Chelsea. As you can see, we are clearly in an intense conversation!

I would have to say that meeting Chelsea was probably the best 10 seconds of my life so far. I almost cried when I actually stood face to face with her. It almost didn't seem real. It's weird watching someone on TV every night, reading their books, and wondering what it would be like to meet them someday. And then that day comes and it makes the world seem a little bit more connected and for a minute, celebrities actually feel like normal people. I really respect her for taking the time to sign 500 plus books and talk with everyone. MAD PROPS TO YOU CHELSEA!! And yes, I will always love you. : )

Overall my weekend in DC was a success. I got to see my best friend and spend quality time complaining about boys and why they are so dumb. (No offense guys). I also ran into an old friend this weekend who reminded me what I used to be like before "being grown up" got in the way. He reminded me that sometimes it's okay to be careless and a little reckless (as long as no one gets seriously hurt.) Everyone needs to be reminded of that once in a while. I mean, we can't be serious all the time, right?

Back the the Blink 182 song- I seriously can't believe I am 23. I mean, I guess I can believe it because I celebrated my birthday about a month ago. When I was 16, 23 just seemed so old and so far away. It feels like I just blinked and a song that I once jammed out to in my bedroom is about my life now. But I have to say, for being 23, I'm still feeling pretty young and having a great time being just a little bit reckless. So, thanks. :)

Something In the Air?

Alright, maybe it's something in the air/the water/the Chick-Fil-A salads I've been eating. I can't exactly put my finger on it, but something is making me EXTREMELY emotional and reflective these days. For example, I cry during the dumbest shows! And I never used to cry! I'm watching a 16 year old deliver a baby on tv the other day and I'm sobbing. I'm talking like loud, boo-hoo sobbing. Then I'm watching a Jessica Simpson special on VH1 about how women in other countries do crazy things to look beautiful. I'm sitting there crying watching these women starve themselves to be accepted by society. Now don't get me wrong, these shows were sad, but the fact that I was crying seemed a little of out the ordinary for me.

I know that seems like a small example, so let's get to the big picture. Lately it seems that everyone I know is dating someone, getting engaged, getting married, having babies, etc. Now, the Lauren I used to know would say, "Oh, thank God that isn't me. I have no desire to commit to anyone and settle down." But somewhere inside me something changed! I'm not saying I did a complete 180 and I spend my days at work looking for wedding rings. But there's just this feeling deep down inside of me that keeps building. And as it grows stronger it's telling me, "You do want to find someone and have someone to share things with."

Marriage is still a LONG way off for me; I am absolutely sure of that. Unless I run into Channing Tatum and he divorces his wife and proposes to me. But still, I'm starting to reconsider my theory that dating someone at this point in my life is pointless and overrated. Maybe it is worth it to try. I miss having someone like me, say nice things to me, and treat me as more than just a friend. I miss having that connection with someone and knowing that they completely get me and what I'm trying to say. THAT is a good feeling, and I miss that feeling. For a while now, I've been pushing my feelings aside. I've been saying, "Feelings, I know you are there but I just really don't want to deal with you right now." I've been living for the moment and focusing on myself. Perhaps you could say I've been selfish. I just say that I need to figure myself out before I can be with anyone else. It seems only fair to that person. So maybe I haven't completely figured myself out yet, but I'm willing to let someone in and see what happens.

It all comes down to this: When I was younger, people always used to tell me, "Enjoy it will you can because it goes by so fast." And I never knew what "it" was until now."It" represents the moments, the memories, the special times that define our lives. And lately I'm finding that those special moments don't come as easily as they used to. No one ever told me how much the "real world" sucks. I'm still trying to figure out why I was in such a hurry to get out of college and "grow up". I feel like each day is exactly like the one before. Minus the fact that I wear a different outfit and go to a different work out class depending on the day. I NEED A CHANGE!!! I need something exciting!! How can I be so young and so bored with the life I'm living?

I'm on a mission- and that is to find a life worth living, and live it to the fullest.

"Love Song for No One"

Tonight is just one of those nights that calls for John Mayer lyrics...

Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
Get here

Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?
Oh no way

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I'm so tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here oh yeah

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I'm so tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me

I guess you could say I've been a little MIA

Last time I updated this thing was about 20 days ago. Time really does fly! Especially when you have a real job and work 40+ hours a week. Not that I'm complaining...I'm just so grateful to have a job! After looking for 10 months, sending hundreds of resumes out, and almost losing my mind, I am happy to say that I am employed with a government contracting company in Suffolk.

Perks of the job include:
-a five minute commute with no traffic
-a Blackberry!!! (yay!)
- free lunches because my mom works 5 minutes away
-an awesome boss who is super flexible about everything
-a paycheck!! Can't forget to mention that one!

So I've been at the job almost 3 weeks now and I'd say I'm pretty settled in. Still getting used to how the office runs and all that, but overall things are off to a good start. I'm trying to be as optimistic as possible about the whole process, but I can't help but wonder what else might be out there for me. I guess there's nothing wrong with keeping your eyes open. The bottom line is, I want a job that makes me happy. I want a job that doesn't feel like work because I enjoy it that much. And I am confident that I will find that. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even this year, but I know there are good things in store for me. : )

Now that I'm working and getting up at the crack of dawn, my social life has been pretty slow. I guess going to bed at 10pm every night probably doesn't help that situation. What can I say, I love sleep, and I do not like waking up feeling tired. So I am perfectly ok with being an old lady and going to bed early.

Other than that, things are good. I'll be heading up to DC next weekend to see the loves of my life (Amanda and Chelsea Handler!!) For those of you who have been living under a rock and don't know who Chelsea Handler is, please google her ASAP. It is my dream to meet her, become her new bff, and work as her assistant on her late night show "Chelsea Lately". I'll keep you posted on that after I see her this weekend! Hey, anything is possible! ;)

ATTENTION EVERYONE!!

I OFFICIALLY HAVE A JOB!!!!!!!

I start on Wednesday.

In depth details of my first day will be shared. (duh)

Stay tuned!!!! : )