Six years ago today, my Aunt Jackie ended her life and left this world for a better place. To this day I can still remember her laugh, her smile, and her goofy personality. Sometimes I wonder if I'll still remember those things twenty years from now. Does the memory of someone truly last forever? I've pondered this question for a while now and I guess only time will tell. I wrote the poem posted below in my Advanced Poetry class this past semester. I can honestly say it is one of the most genuine, and heartfelt things I have ever written. I have dozens of poems about my Aunt Jackie, and I know there are plenty more to come. Writing about her keeps her memory alive. Even though the image of her face may begin to fade from my mind over time, my poems about her will always be clear.
Silent Sinking
A pair of sandals rests
silently at the water’s edge while
seagulls skim the surface and
dip into the darkness as she
sinks slowly now fading out of
this world and into the next
not knowing the panic she
will create above the waves to
all who knew her, loved her,
made themselves whole in her
presence now slipping into
the cold depths below that
won’t forgive or give back
any trace of her for others to
collect like shells that grow frail
but remind them of her smile
now only a memory captured
underneath the surface of all
she knew and lived for and
the air that once breathed life into her
now seeps slowly to let water fill
the void that she couldn’t replace
with the happiness of everyday
things like the family that
loved her and now cries with the
hope that this new life will be
better than her last.
RIP Aunt Jackie 1/31/03
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
"At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world. Six billion souls. And sometimes...all you need is one.
"Imagine a future moment in your life where all your dreams come true. You know, it's the greatest moment of your life and you get to experience it with one person. Who's standing next to you?"
Sometimes I wish my life was like an episode of One Tree Hill. I would play Peyton and be engaged to Lucas. I would have my dream job of owning my own recording studio. Buttttt since my life isn't like that, I try to remember to be thankful for all the amazing people I do have in my life. Because sometimes at the end of the day, all you really need is one good friend.
"Imagine a future moment in your life where all your dreams come true. You know, it's the greatest moment of your life and you get to experience it with one person. Who's standing next to you?"
Sometimes I wish my life was like an episode of One Tree Hill. I would play Peyton and be engaged to Lucas. I would have my dream job of owning my own recording studio. Buttttt since my life isn't like that, I try to remember to be thankful for all the amazing people I do have in my life. Because sometimes at the end of the day, all you really need is one good friend.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
What Is Really Worth Changing in 2009?
New Year’s Eve has come and gone and 2009 is here. As with every New Year, resolutions are made, sober or drunk, and we promise to change something. Maybe this year we’ll lose that extra ten pounds, prioritize our finances, finally leave that no good boyfriend, or tell our boss to shove it. With the world moving faster every day, the only thing that stays constant is change. Resolutions can be a great thing, if given a considerable amount of thought beforehand. Instead of vowing to change all the things we dislike on the outside, we need to start with the problems on the inside.
No, I’m not talking about your internal organs or bone structure. Look past the surface and find something that’s worth making a resolution about. The word “new” is before “year” for a reason. Think about what the word “new” means. It may not mean the same thing to everyone one, but I can say that it does mean the opposite of old. Perhaps it could mean a new start, a new you, a new place, or a new beginning. Don’t be too afraid to make a resolution for fear that you can’t live up to it. This is your chance to erase all the mistakes and disappointments from last year and start fresh. Approach your resolution as a challenge, and use every day as one more step towards conquering it.
There is nothing wrong with a resolution about wanting to lose weight, prioritizing your finances, leaving a worthless boyfriend, or telling your boss you’re quitting. But you have to do it for the right reasons. A drunken toast made ten seconds before midnight clearly didn’t come with much thought behind it. Make a resolution because it means something to you. Do it because you want to change something about yourself. Make a resolution to lose weight because you want to eat healthy, not because you feel pressured to conform to a certain size. Prioritize your finances because you don’t want to rely on your parents forever, or max out all of your credit cards. Doing these things makes you a stronger person on the inside; you will start to rely on yourself more instead of blaming your problems on other things.
If you want to make a resolution about ending a relationship, resolve to figure out who you are as an individual before you attempt to date anyone else. Relationships are hard work and if you know in your heart that you need to end it, there is no better time like the present. The same goes for the job that you need to say goodbye to. If the job isn’t for you, find the one that is. Life is too short to stay in a job that makes you unhappy. Yes, it is scary saying those two little words and packing up your desk. But the sense of relief that follows will be worth it. Make a resolution to find the job that makes you happy. It won’t be easy, but when you find it, all the hard work will be worth it.
The bottom line is, a resolution should leave you feeling satisfied for longer than the day that you decided to make it. If done correctly, the resolution that you make should last the whole year through. And who says a resolution has to be made on New Year’s Eve? Make your resolution now. There is plenty of time left to look long and hard at what it is that’s really worth changing. The good news is, you don’t need a mirror to figure it out.
No, I’m not talking about your internal organs or bone structure. Look past the surface and find something that’s worth making a resolution about. The word “new” is before “year” for a reason. Think about what the word “new” means. It may not mean the same thing to everyone one, but I can say that it does mean the opposite of old. Perhaps it could mean a new start, a new you, a new place, or a new beginning. Don’t be too afraid to make a resolution for fear that you can’t live up to it. This is your chance to erase all the mistakes and disappointments from last year and start fresh. Approach your resolution as a challenge, and use every day as one more step towards conquering it.
There is nothing wrong with a resolution about wanting to lose weight, prioritizing your finances, leaving a worthless boyfriend, or telling your boss you’re quitting. But you have to do it for the right reasons. A drunken toast made ten seconds before midnight clearly didn’t come with much thought behind it. Make a resolution because it means something to you. Do it because you want to change something about yourself. Make a resolution to lose weight because you want to eat healthy, not because you feel pressured to conform to a certain size. Prioritize your finances because you don’t want to rely on your parents forever, or max out all of your credit cards. Doing these things makes you a stronger person on the inside; you will start to rely on yourself more instead of blaming your problems on other things.
If you want to make a resolution about ending a relationship, resolve to figure out who you are as an individual before you attempt to date anyone else. Relationships are hard work and if you know in your heart that you need to end it, there is no better time like the present. The same goes for the job that you need to say goodbye to. If the job isn’t for you, find the one that is. Life is too short to stay in a job that makes you unhappy. Yes, it is scary saying those two little words and packing up your desk. But the sense of relief that follows will be worth it. Make a resolution to find the job that makes you happy. It won’t be easy, but when you find it, all the hard work will be worth it.
The bottom line is, a resolution should leave you feeling satisfied for longer than the day that you decided to make it. If done correctly, the resolution that you make should last the whole year through. And who says a resolution has to be made on New Year’s Eve? Make your resolution now. There is plenty of time left to look long and hard at what it is that’s really worth changing. The good news is, you don’t need a mirror to figure it out.
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